Yuuki yuuki yuuki blah blah blah who the hell cares

It’s all about Tomoya and Nagisa, yo.  After Story was the tearjerker of the year, and it seems that everybody’s been too caught up in TokyoM 8.0 to remember that.  Or you’re all saving the top spot for this …?

Bah.

Because I’ve spent the last seven days doing half-assed, only-one-picture posts, I’ll spend the next five days actually typing some stuff up. Oh, and the last seven days weren’t in any particular order. Endless Eight/Haruhi was definitely more important than Eden of the East.

Anime Expo 2009 ranks as my fifth most coolsoss moment of the year. Let’s take a look at what it did for me:

• I realized how otaku I was
• I met other otaku
• I snapped pictures of otaku
• I bought otaku merchandise
• I otaku the otaku otaku at the otaku
• Otaku otaku otaku otaku otaku otaku otaku
• Suck on that, OEG

AX 2009, my very first anime convention, opened the gates of otakudom for me. Before AX, I could only dream of owning a figure. Now, I own three! Before AX, I could only dream of spending ~$500 on useless crap. Before AX, I could only dream of owning a dakimakura! Now, I can dream even more of owning a dakimakura! Can’t you see the profound impact that AX had on me?

I don’t really feel like writing anything serious today.

AX showed me that…

• Some anime fangirls are really hot.
• I will never be able to get close to one of the aforementioned “really hot” anime fangirls.
• Some anime fans are really old and bring their cosplaying families to anime conventions.
• I can take pictures of the aforementioned cosplaying families of old anime fans without looking like an idiot.
• I should wear a better backpack next time.
• No matter how otaku-backpack-looking my backpack is, I can’t look like a true otaku unless I wear a fanny pack.
• I need to buy a fanny pack.
• Most other bloggers are older than me.
• I need to get older.
• Narutards really do exist.
• Bleachtards really do exist.
• One Piecetards really do exist.
• Really, really, really crappy Naruto costumes really do exist.
• Voice synthesizers are all the rage nowadays.
• People love to take pictures of voice synthesizers.
• People want to make love to voice synthesizers.
• Sometimes, the best costume is a box.

I’ll be at AX next year. That, or I’ll be in Japan. Or both.

Best female character: Mikoto Misaka

Runners-up: Eureka, Nadeko Sengoku

Need I say more about Mikoto? She is the goddess of the anime realm, and if you still haven’t heard of her, shame on you. Also, L>super-duper rare special swimsuit figure of her. I have been searching for it since it came out, and not a single one has popped up on the internet yet.

And before I go any further, let me make this clear: Anything that finished airing in 2009 is eligible. Shows like To Aru Kagaku no Railgun, no matter how awesome, are not eligible (for overall show awards, anyway… characters and music, etc. are fair game) because quite frankly, endings can make or break a show.

Oh, and there’s spoilers.

Speaking of endings…

Most Abrupt Ending

Winner: Hayate no Gotoku!!

If this show had ended at episode 24, so be it. But it managed to stick around for another episode filled with the adventures of Packy-making Hayate Ayasaki. And then it ended.

If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve asked around on forums when episode 26 was going to come out. It turns out I didn’t know any better. Heck, I only realized that the second season of Hayate ended when I went on MyAnimeList.net and saw “Finished Airing” on Hayate’s page.

Speaking of sequels…

Worst Sequel/Remake/whatever

Winner: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Rei

Runner-up: Munto TV (aka Longest title in the world)

HiguRei also wins "Best surfing poses"

By sheer amount of random, useless dialogue, HiguRei wins by a landslide.

Oh, hey Rika, you’re awake? You’ve been asleep for a month!

Yeah, but FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT

YES I AGREE THEY ARE VERY GOOD THINGS

MEANING OF LIFE

YES LIFE IS MEANINGFUL TOMODACHI

MEANING OF LIFE FRIENDSHIP SINS

HUMANS ARE SINNERS I AM A SINNER SCHROEDINGER’S CAT

Episodes 1 and 5 were very good, if not only to break that Higurashi horror mold. But those three episodes in the middle… *shudder*

Speaking of people in undergarments…

Best Depiction of Shimapan

Winner: Princess Lover! – Seika Houjouin/Nezu Haruhiko

Runners-up: K-ON! – Mio, To Aru Majutsu no Index – MISAKA

Yes, this was quite a tight race between Princess Lover and K-ON!. Ah, who am I kidding? Nezu is one hot piece of man. His masculine muscles matched with his feminine pose is such a tease. His slight blush and his closed eyes entice me. He is one incredible hunk.

Speaking of incredible…

The TTGL Award

Most Ridiculously Incredible

Winner: Sora Kake Girl

Runners-up: Sengoku Basara, Nyan Koi

Every year, there’s at least one show that goes above and beyond what everybody expected. Heck, that show goes beyond what you could’ve even imagined. If you tried to take a chunk of it out and fit it into another show, it would look ridiculous and stupid, but it works like a charm in that show.

Gurren Lagann made sunglasses on mecha and throwing galaxies look cool. Sora Kake Girl (aka Sora wo Kakeru Shoujo) has followed in its footsteps. All throughout the show, it wasn’t clear when the story was a parody or when it was srs bsns, but it was one hell of a ride. Who would’ve thunk that a show that looked nothing short of an Fight Ippatsu! Fanservice-chan turned out to be both so funny and so epic at the same time?

That said, Sengoku Basara and Nyan Koi both put up a great fight. However, they both lacked the sheer shock factor of Sora Kake Girl. Sengoku Basara was 100% gar and Nyan Koi was 100% ridiculous, but Sora Kake Girl looked like 0% of neither and turned out >9k of both.

Imo-chan still sucks.

Speaking of sucky characters…

Worst Female Character

Winner: HINAKO (Isshoni Training)

Runners-up: Hitagi Senjougahara, Maria Ushiromiya

Despite my hatred of Senjougahara and how she ruined Bakemonogatari and despite my hated of Maria and how she ruined Umineko, I chose this “Hinako” character from a small OVA. Why?

Well, I can’t put my finger on it…

…because words cannot describe how horrific a female character Hinako is! She is fanservice gone wrong. She is one ugly female character. Her legs are shaped weird. Fanart of her is a hundred times more appealing than her appearance in the OVA. She makes even my pants-boner go down. She should get hit by more rocks.

By the way, why are they making a second OVA? I don’t get it. Does that mean the first one worked?

Speaking of things that didn’t work…

Worst Male Character

Winner: All of the assholes from Kurokami

Runner-up: That asshole from Kobato

And others…

Kurokami had a pretty good concept, but there wasn’t one character that didn’t annoy me. Every single character from that show should’ve died halfway through. rageragerage

Speaking of series that didn’t go anywhere…

Biggest Disappointment

Winner: Rideback

Runners-up: Fairy Tail

I don't know, you tell me!

Rideback had a pretty good concept, but there wasn’t one episode that didn’t annoy me. Every single episode of this show should’ve been trashed for lack of interesting story. rageragerage

On another note, the five episodes of Fairy Tail that I managed to watch were absolute shit. Mainstream shounen at its worst.

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Now that I’ve run out of ideas to keep going on, I’ll do the other parts in a somewhat organized format.

Part 2: Individual scene/character/stuff awards (like “Best Electric user,” “Coolest superpower,” “Most attractive female character with electric powers,” “Best Mikoto Misaka,” and “Biggest Shock” [luls, get it?])

Part 3: All the other awards besides best series (including song awards, “Best Renai Circulation,” blog awards [suck on that, OEG + ABA fanboys], etc.)

Part 4: Best _____ awards (“Comedy,” “Tragedy,” “Anime with Mikoto in it,” etc.)

Part 5: Wait, there is no part 5.  I guess I’ll just take this space to troll some more.